The first 24

The first 24 hours are behind me (Actually I’m at nearly 25.5 smoke-free hours,  but who’s counting?) I think of smoking a lot.  I’ve cried. A lot. 

I vaguely remember the husband coming to my bedside, telling me he loves me, kissing me and then helping me out of my sweatshirt.  I was indeed sweating. I think that was an apology? I’m not sure.  I just remember being really upset that I’d only been asleep from 7-9 pm.  I feel back asleep at 9 until just now.

Thanks to Xanax I’ve not broken off on anyone and been able to sleep through a few rougher parts.  Thanks to some supportive friends I am coping.  I do seem to be eating a lot more. 😥  but I’m doing my best to keep it in check. (she says… As she eats crackers in bed). 

There are people I need to call, but I’m scared… My most frequent smoking situation is when I’m in the phone. Yesterday I was able to talk on the phone while I walked the dog… Even in the misting rain. I have a feeling the dog and I both are going to get a lot more exercise.

On the downside, I am not thinking as clearly as usual. I’m not very articulate right now. And I want a fucking cigarette like my life depends on it.

Recommended reading:


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s