The first 24 hours are behind me (Actually I’m at nearly 25.5 smoke-free hours, but who’s counting?) I think of smoking a lot. I’ve cried. A lot.
I vaguely remember the husband coming to my bedside, telling me he loves me, kissing me and then helping me out of my sweatshirt. I was indeed sweating. I think that was an apology? I’m not sure. I just remember being really upset that I’d only been asleep from 7-9 pm. I feel back asleep at 9 until just now.
Thanks to Xanax I’ve not broken off on anyone and been able to sleep through a few rougher parts. Thanks to some supportive friends I am coping. I do seem to be eating a lot more. 😥 but I’m doing my best to keep it in check. (she says… As she eats crackers in bed).
There are people I need to call, but I’m scared… My most frequent smoking situation is when I’m in the phone. Yesterday I was able to talk on the phone while I walked the dog… Even in the misting rain. I have a feeling the dog and I both are going to get a lot more exercise.
On the downside, I am not thinking as clearly as usual. I’m not very articulate right now. And I want a fucking cigarette like my life depends on it.